i can’t remember what was going through my mind at that moment…..but all i know is that this picture pretty much sums up every emotion i was feeling…shock, excitement, relief, thanks, happiness, disbelief, confusion, and sadness.
i keep thinking about graduation and that moment when my name was announced as the winner of the soames scholarship. i think i was praying and i had my eyes shut..holding on to sophia’s hands for dear life…..i still can’t believe that i won….even when my name was announced as a finalist i didn’t believe it….and to have won, that had to be God’s love just pouring all over me. i wasn’t even as excited when i won the rotary scholarship, but i know both scholarships were only possible because of God’s love, grace, and never-ending blessings.
at times i wonder if i should even be blessed this much….i feel..un-worthy i guess of such blessings. there’s so many times where God is the last thing on my mind…..i don’t spend as much time with Him as i should, sometimes i ignore Him, push Him out of my life…..not the greatest daughter :( but He never, never gives up in trying to get my attention and to make me fall in love with Him all over again.
God was there for me when i needed Him, and His love cannot be compared to anything. God is a jealous God, and will do everything and anything He can to get my attention for just even a second. but shouldn’t He get more than just a second? God has blessed me continuously in everything…the least i could do for Him is to spend time with Him, but why is it so hard to sit down for…even 5 minutes to read His love letter to me?
God, You never gave up on me, You were there for me every second of my life, through ups and downs, tears and happiness. You have my attention, and i am getting up and starting my walk with You once again. i’ve sat down, given up, turned around, and let go, but You never left me. You always waited for me…God, help me to find that desire in me to spend time with You…help me to see again why i love spending time with You, and why i love reading Your Word. guide me through Your ways and mold me to be more like Jesus.
Amen.
